Sunday, November 20, 2005

"...In the City"

Just a shout out to my girls: Had brunch this morning with my Lebanese (haha) friend, my Indian biatch, and the lovely chiquita banana. We were rolling on the floor as we compared our lives to the gals in the "Sex in the City." We were able to match our four personas quite well to one of each of the characters of Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte; however, that was where the similarities ended. Our beds have been pretty barren and the pickins out there slim, hence, if we had our own little sitcom, it would be titled, simply, "...In the City." (Title courtesy of my Lebanese girl.)

The Aftermath of a Gala Event

So I got to play dress-up yesterday evening and don a cutesy holiday dress for an alumni affair at the Pyramid Club. It was quite a sight seeing my former classmates and friends dressed to the nines. We were a pretty sharp bunch, if I do say so myself--gorgeous and/or debonair, the lot of us. We started with the requisite cocktails around 7pm--the dirty martinis and cosmopolitans flowed copiously, however I opted for the staid Dewar's and water.

Soon after, they corralled us like super-decked-out cattle into the main dining area. Our little group was separated and we were spread out over about 25 tables to network with the older, wiser, more distiguished guests. My date, an old college girlfriend of mine, and I chatted with the diners on the left while to my right, two vapid post-undergraduate gals whined about their distaste for the spinach in the salad and the asparagus garnishing the main course. I was ready to knock them over the head with my wine glass as one of them went on and on about the guy she was dating (and who was obviously playing games with her from the sound of it) while the other commiserated and encouraged her friend's senseless blabber. But the fine meal of filet and prawns (huge, mutant prawns, biggest I've ever seen in my life), coupled with a few glasses of chardonnay, curbed my violent urges.

Apres le diner, we settled down on some comfy couches overlooking the Philadelphia skyline and made funny talk amongst ourselves. I was still marveling at how fabulous everyone looked. 11pm rolled around and the older crowd started calling it a night. A few of us young-uns, however, headed to Continental for some drinks. Half of our group called it quits after a half hour, leaving my date, my other girlfriend, and myself to hit the Bard's for a last beer and a game of darts. We got home around 2am, slept around 3am after watching a portion of "The Thomas Crown Affair."

This morning, I am rudely awakened by my alarm at 7:45am. I remember that I have an 8K run at 8:30am this morning. Snooze 1 to 8am. Snooze 2 to 8:09am. Finally I rise out of bed only to find my place has been transformed into an absolute pigsty--high heels and party dresses strewn on the floor, tubes of lipstick and mascara lining the coffee table, half-empty bottles of water scattered in different parts of the room, and endless other detritus all over the apartment. Sighing, I wash my face, put on some sweatpants and head out, still reeking of alcohol, to the race, which thankfully, starts at the Art Musuem, 5 minutes from my apartment. About 47 minutes later, ready to puke and positive I have injured my right leg for life, I finish that damn race. Boy, I'm getting too old for this. Ah me, fun fun fun.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Office Nonsense Tally, Vol. 4

Mon: A co-worker introduces me to the fantastically entertaining world of online chess (games.yahoo.com). This will prove a lifesaver during the frequent periods of doldrums throughout the week. I win the first game by forfeit--my opponent wisely sees his inevitable demise and bows out. Game 1: Moi.

Tues: Half day--Get beaten at chess. Game 2: Dude 2 cubicles across the way wins. Sneak attack by a rook and that dratted Black Queen.

Wed: A solid day of chess-playing.
Game 3: Another forfeit. Me: 2, Bunghole: 1
Game 4: I resign, 2nd loss. Manager comes by as I am contemplating whether I should castle or get my Queen out onto the board. Me: 2, Bunghole: 2
Game 5: A resounding win for me. Down by a couple pawns, a bishop, and knight, I manage to trap the White king with a rook and my Queen. Me: 3, Cubicle boy: 2.

Thurs: Off

Fri: Another hung over Friday (surprise, surprise--this time it was due to one too many dart games @ the bar.) * Chess Game 6: I lose. Me: 3, Cheese Ball: 3. A draw!* Our genius IT guy introduces "Btunes," a shared space on the internal company server with a shitload of songs. Spend an ungodly number of hours downloading my favorite tunes onto the server. Yee haw. I can now disappear into my own little world of music (in a cubicle)... * Try to convince my co-workers to move beyond the same old tired Noche or Drinker's Pub for post-office-hell drinks, to no avail. Damn kids.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Monopolies Blow

All I want is to be able to boil a pot of water on the stove to make some pasta, is that so wrong?

Philadelphia Gas Works, however, seems bent on depriving me from cooking gas. After two previous failed attempts in weeks prior to show up during the scheduled 4 hour window, I finally meet up with the gas man this afternoon. He spends a couple minutes checking out the valves & piping to my gas range and declares it a hazard, refusing to turn on the gas--apparently the existing valving is unsafe and must be upgraded. I guess that means the poor bastard tenants before me were cooking in extremely treacherous conditions--woo hoo, lucky me they caught it after all these years. What a crock of shit. It's just another way for these crooks to schedule yet another customer visit billed @ $80/hr.

So I must wait another 1-2 weeks to be able to scramble a damn egg. I am so getting tired of the Nutrigrain bars and microwave popcorn for dinner. Damn you, PGW!

Thursday Morning Fridge Inventory

Was feeling a bit hon-gray this fine morn and opened the refrigerator to root through its contents for a morsel or two, only to discover the following (hardly the makings of any type of substantial repast):

tub of Land o' Lakes butter
Reese's peanut butter cup
18 eggs
5 large bulbs of garlic, still encased in original mesh packaging
half-empty jar of pickle spears
near-empty jar of cocktail tomolives
14 bottles of beer (on the wall!)
dijonnaise
soy milk
chilled bottle of Bombay Sapphire
can of tuna

Lawdy, I am worlds away from a life of domestication and it's a freaking riot--I love it.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Office Nonsense Tally, Vol. 3

Monday: A day full of pure, utter nothingness. Went through every single one of the 261 new pictures of my neice that my sister recently posted online. Twice. * Caught up on personal email correspondence.

Tuesday: 1/2 day. Made some calls asking some old retired fogies if they wanted to work for some beat Southwestern firm in the middle of East Buttfuck. Managed to convince 3 or 4 of them that it was a worthwhile deal. Suckers. * Take lengthly midafternoon break despite it only being a half day.

Wednesday: Manager comes by whilst I am making a list in Excel of bars with their addresses & happy hour specials. The idiot thinks its the latest billing numbers. Feeling generous, I forward this invaluable list to my coworkers. I finish the day with a proud sense of accomplishment.

Thurs: Off

Friday: Sit through a tortuously boring Friday morning made slightly more unbearable due to hangover-induced headache. * Perk up before lunch after learning I will no longer have to work with my dimwitted manager and am now partnered with one of the business development execs and the CEO. * Leave work early to throw all my dirty clothes in the closet in preparation for the cocktail hour I'm throwing later in the night @ my place.

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