My Own Personal Axe Clix Commercial, Modified

You’ve probably seen it, the Axe Clix ad in which the ex-Mr. Simpson, Nick Lachey, traipses around town going about his everyday rockstar business and keeping count of all the lovely damsels who give him a sultry look or shy smile on a handheld clicker (there’s also an old one with Ben Affleck that I prefer.) So was taking an evening power walk down Kelly Drive with Michele-Ma-Belle and decided to give clicks to all the worthy, health-conscious lads that passed us by. A click to you, sweaty blonde without a shirt. And to you, the dark Latin guy with curls. And one for you, the distinguished gentleman who probably got a lot of chicks back in the day. Two clicks each to the tall drinks of water (or tall drinks of iced coffee, as it were; it’s likely they are basketball players.) And one for you on the bike, who I’m giving a benefit-of-the-doubt-click because you were riding by too fast for me to get a solid look. I ended up with 23 ½ clicks, with the half point going to the 16 year old kid who is going to have a nice look about him in about 5 years if he keeps up his running regimen.