Monday, August 01, 2005

Fomites

I skeeve touching doorknobs and elevator buttons, avoid lying on top of hotel comforters, and am repulsed if my skin makes contact with any exposed surfaces while sitting on public transportation. Sometimes I like to obsess about those ominpresent nanoscopic germs being harbored on this laptop keyboard I'm typing upon or that pencil eraser you are chewing on.

It's no surprise I hate using public restrooms. Why can't all lavatories have the automatic faucets, soap dispensers, and hand dryers like those in many of the modern airports? My workaround to flushing the toilet and opening the door of the stall contact-free: press the flusher down with your foot and turn the latch with toilet paper. Let's not forget about port-o-potties. I gag everytime my kidneys and sense of modesty force me to use one. I need to wash my hands now. Anti-bacterially yours.

5 Comments:

At Tue Aug 02, 01:03:00 AM EDT, Anonymous ironnori said...

i think there's some prescription meds out there for your OCD. (tom cruise, are you listening?!?)

 
At Tue Aug 02, 01:22:00 AM EDT, Blogger All Aglow said...

i don't think any amount of meds can stop the madness!!!

 
At Tue Aug 02, 02:04:00 AM EDT, Blogger boo-see-fus said...

I can proudly say - that I have successfully read all your blogs to date. All I have to say is "U Crazy!" Or should I say the shit is bananas - B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

Oh where Oh where has my little Alm gone -- Oh where Oh where can she be!

I can't believe that you actually have me on this thing...It's all insane - yet insightful at the same time.

About the germs, submerge yourself into them and build up an immunity. Deal with it and move on. Don't let your obsessive tendencies take control of you...direct your attention to bigger things like...am I hungry? ...should I eat? ...are these wasted calories? ...do i care? will I actually run in the morning? ...morning? ...should I sleep?

Aaah, there's a novel concept, sleep! It beckons me! Or is it my spouse?

 
At Tue Aug 02, 12:27:00 PM EDT, Anonymous nikki said...

hey...."Monk"....i know what to get you for Christmas now. anti-bacterial wipes. perhaps there's an offering from P&G i can get you since you've been shilling for them lately.

NORI! :) wassup, girl.

 
At Tue Aug 02, 05:15:00 PM EDT, Anonymous minnie val said...

hahahahahahaha. Grr-oss! Now you know why I never fail to have an endless supply of Purell with me. Ah well, you can't escape it, no matter how hard you try. Just think of it as making you 'strong like bull' instead.

 

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